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Election Humor

Taylor Swift’s 1989 perfectly explains this campaign cycle

Taylor Swift is definitely the greatest artist of our, or any, generation. Her last album, “1989,” was released about two years ago, and although we already knew she is a genius, she might also be able to predict the future.

How? Because many of her famous songs correspond exactly to this year’s presidential election. Let’s explore some of Swift’s hits and I’ll show you.

“I Knew You Were Trouble”

We knew there was trouble when the candidates walked in. So shame on us now.

“22”

The number of candidates we started out with, or something like that.

“Fifteen”

The number of candidates who debated, or something like that.



“Mean”

Maybe Taylor was wrong about this song. I think this has probably been the nicest political climate we’ve ever experienced.

“Blank Space”

What’s on Drumpf’s medical records.

“Style”

The presidential style this year has been all about consistency. Quality of the fashion is out the window of 2016, because if we change up what the candidates are wearing, voters might get confused and forget who they like. One order of pantsuits for one candidate and an order of a suit with a red tie for the other, please.

“Fearless”

People voting for Drumpf because he’s an outsider. Asking a businessman to fix the economy is like asking someone who poops a lot to fix your toilet. Maybe it will work out, but you’ve got to be more fearless than Taylor opening herself up to falling in love.

“Welcome to New York”

Considering the two main options for president are the former senator from New York and the man who puts his name on as many buildings in the city as possible, I think this comparison speaks for itself. Also, Bernie Sanders is from Brooklyn, so I guess that counts too.

“All You Had To Do Was Stay”

All those that are #NeverTrump or #BernieorBust are saying this to Bernie and any one of the other sixteen candidates — or anybody else — they wanted.

“I Wish You Would”

Tell the truth. Anybody, please.

“Bad Blood”

While there have been some insults thrown between Drumpf and Clinton, expect the two to go at it harder than Swift’s music video in their upcoming presidential debates. Mudslinging can turn to blood-slinging quickly.

“Wildest Dreams”

For any kid out there watching who thinks they can become president and actually be a normal human being.

“How You Get the Girl”

By getting her 270 electoral votes.

“I Know Places”

We can go vote. I also know places we can go when our candidates loses.

Taylor Swift fits herself into this election quite a bit. But my girl Tay Tay and I both encourage you to go out and vote on Nov. 8. As one of her first songs says:

“Speak Now”

or forever hold your peace — and hope of a bright future for this nation.





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