It’s been more than a month since 2018 began, and although I still forget and say it’s 2017, we’re solidly into this year. At the start of January, like many others, I wrote down resolutions and goals I wanted to achieve.

I did this last year, but my list was extremely long and super unreasonable — from losing 30 pounds to getting 5,000 subscribers on YouTube. Although those sound great, neither of those resolutions nor the 15 others I had were accomplished. I think it’s because I had too many resolutions and couldn’t narrow them down to actually focus on them.

So this year, I approached resolutions a little differently. I wrote down only a few, with specific goals that are reasonable and are able to be incorporated into my daily routine. I knew this would be super helpful because all the articles about “how to actually do your New Year’s resolution” told me so.

My diet

Apparently, when you want to lose weight, you don’t focus on the weight but how you’re going to actually do it. Who knew? I guess it’s like, if you want to make a cake, you should focus on the ingredients and not just the type of frosting — which should always be buttercream frosting. So, I decided I’d eat a fruit or vegetable with every meal. So far, that’s not going great, considering I had two slices of Domino’s pizza and a Pepsi before writing this article. I guess I went wrong when I didn’t put onions and peppers on top.

Procrastinating

My goal was to finish work right as I get it, and not hand in anything late. I wanted to be on top of everything. But, considering this article was due Friday, Jan. 26, I’m not doing well. Could I blame being sick and having the flu? I sure told my editor that, but the show “The Good Place” was really to blame.

Spending money

I’ve been good with this one! My bank has helped because apparently you can’t take out money if you don’t have any in your account.

Friends

I’m not one of those people who says “I’m cutting out all the toxic people in my life,” because if you say that, you’re probably the toxic one. This year I just wanted to focus on the friends who really matter to me. I didn’t want to settle for people who didn’t add anything of value to my life. My friends and I all discussed this, and we all agreed the few people who were bringing us down were no longer welcome in our lives. The only problem is that once we all agreed to cut the losers out of our lives, everyone stopped talking to me. Oh well, I hope that’s going well for them.

Finding romance

So, I haven’t really worked on this one yet, but I want to try to find someone for me. A gal who’s cool and independent and stuff. But, although I haven’t really done much for this resolution, and all my other resolutions have gone horribly wrong, I figure now’s a great time. So, if you’re a woman with a pulse and horrible judgment, you’d probably be interested in taking me out. I would take you out, but again, the whole money thing. So, I’ll leave my Twitter and email at the end of this article, and if you want to go on a date, reach out and I’ll probably write an article about how I screwed it up.

Josh Feinblatt is a junior television, radio, film major. He will accept your messages for dates, so feel free to slide or slowly make your way into his DMs. He can be DM-ed on Twitter @joshfeinblatt or by email at jfeinbla@syr.edu.

Published on February 7, 2018 at 11:23 pm