YouTube is a huge thing nowadays, and vloggers have taken over. From travel vloggers to beauty vloggers to plain old daily vloggers, they’re all whipping out the camera and talking to it like somebody’s there. For many vloggers, armies of children are watching them and begging their parents to buy them merch.

I decided to find out more about this commotion disrupting the internet. I sat down with somebody experiencing it directly. Apparently, that’s what you’re supposed to do in journalism — interview people.

Here’s a totally real interview with a totally real vlogger based at Syracuse University. This is the entire transcript of this interview that totally happened:

Josh Feinblatt: Hi, thanks for sitting down with me. Are you going to vlog this interview?

YouTube Vlogger: Yeah, make sure to check out this collab on my channel. We’ll link it in this article.

J.F.: I’m not sure if they’ll let me do that. But that brings me to my first question. Do you film everything you do?

Y.V.: Everything is content.

J.F.: So your entire life?

Y.V.: Yes.

J.F.: OK, moving on. You’re known for the clothes you wear. Obviously very fashionable. But does it ever get difficult remembering what you’re wearing at all times?

Y.V.: At this point I’m able to spout it out like a fountain. Come up to me at any time of the day. I can tell you everything on my body. Even when I’m sleeping — Oscar de la Renta sleep caftan. Costs $180.

J.F.: Right, and you have to know the prices of everything.

Y.V.: I’m basically a full-time contestant on “The Price is Right” at this point.

J.F.: So you have brand deals with a lot of clothing companies. How are you able to sell yourself to big-name brands like Polo?

Y.V.: I tell them that my audience is young and trusts anything I say.

J.F.: And that works?

Y.V.: (pointing to her shoes) Gucci Queercore crystal embellished block-heel pumps. $2,390.

J.F.: Do you even like how those look?

Y.V.: I like how much they cost.

J.F.: All right, well some people would say — and some do in your comments section — that you don’t have talent. What would you say to prove them wrong?

Y.V.: I would just say…Gucci Queercore.

J.F.: I’m sorry to cut you off here. I get those are expensive shoes, but what about your talents?

Y.V.: I would argue that wearing this is a talent.

J.F.: Why?

Y.V.: I mean, models get paid to wear clothes. They pose for pictures or go down a runway. I wear this stuff and make videos. I’m kind of a new generation of models.

J.F.: All right. Look, you have hundreds of thousands of subscribers. Most of them are young girls looking up to you for beauty and makeup tips. You influence a lot of body images around the world. How does that affect the content you make, and does it feel like a big responsibility?

Y.V.: Yeah.

J.F.: Yeah?

Y.V.: Yes.

J.F.: Well, I’ve certainly learned a lot. Thanks so much for sitting down in this interview with me.

Y.V.: Thank you, Josh. Everyone, make sure to like and subscribe!

J.F.: Oh, you don’t…you don’t have to say that. This is just an interview. I’m the only one here.

Y.V.: Oh, it’s just my sign-off. That’s how I say goodbye.

J.F.: All right, well, whatever works for you.

Y.V.: Wait, can I just say one last thing? You said this whole thing would be transcribed into the interview?

J.F.: Yeah, but I mean that doesn’t mean you can just —

Y.V.: So my loyal fans, I have this brand deal going on with Claire’s makeup right now. Make sure to go check out their stuff, especially the glitter makeup.

J.F.: Wasn’t there a huge recall on Claire’s glitter makeup in December?

Y.V.: Yeah, so now Claire’s has a ton they’re trying to get rid of.

J.F.: All right, thanks for sitting down with me.

Josh Feinblatt is a junior television, radio and film major. He can be reached for all complaints from vloggers or fans of vloggers on Twitter @joshfeinblatt or by email at jfeinbla@syr.edu.

Published on April 17, 2018 at 11:40 pm