I have an internship this summer.

Some people hear that and are overjoyed for me. They shouldn’t be, because they don’t know that I have an unpaid internship. I’m not saying you should feel sorry for me — but I am typing it, so take that as you will.

But out of the unpaid internship came something incredible: my parent’s pity. I suddenly found myself saving money because my parents were willing to pay for my commuting and other costs. So, you know, if I don’t spend too much, and if I don’t think about the actual numbers, I guess you could say I am making money!

I have no idea what to do with all this newfound cash. I gotta go out and spend it, and there are so many things I can buy.

For example, with all this money, I can go into any restaurant and ask for a cup for water. I don’t need to treat myself by spending extra on guac — I’ll just splurge on the water cup and splash a little Sprite in it.

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Speaking of restaurants, I can go into most chains and get dessert. Yes, my friends are confused when I don’t order anything and then one of them is ambushed by six waiters excitedly singing happy birthday to them, but hey, I gotta spend my money somehow.

Also, I love music, and I end up going to so many concerts because I have no clue what to do with all this money. All I do is hop on a ticketing website to find concerts near me, close the website and show up outside the venue. If you know the song tunes well enough and they sing loud enough, you can follow along just fine. Some people spend their money on items, I prefer to spend my money on experiences.

I’ve been finding ways to spend a lot in preparation of going to study in Los Angeles this semester. It’s been really great because I’m finally getting to spend my hard, unearned money.

I have to get so many things to furnish the apartment I’ll be in. Silverware, plates, cups, and everything for the kitchen is a must — my roommates are going to be psyched when our silverware is restaurant quality grade. They’re so good, they’re from the restaurants that I get free dessert at!

Also, I’ll need shampoo and soap for the bathroom while I’m there. My roommates again will be so excited when I have hotel quality toiletries!

Thanks to all of the unpaid internships I’ve had over the years, I am able to spend money on all this stuff and more. I’ll continue to do more research about how great unpaid internships are in Los Angeles — stay tuned.

Josh Feinblatt is a senior television, radio, film student. He can be reached by email at jfeinbla@syr.edu or on twitter @joshfeinblatt.

Published on August 8, 2018 at 7:51 pm

Contact Josh: jfeinbla@syr.edu