The first thing I ate at The Great New York State Fair was a funnel cake from Nancy’s, a vendor that sells a number of fair favorites. The stand offered “DELUXE” Funnel Cakes with ice cream and fruit toppings as well as fried Oreos with powdered sugar and deep-fried cheesecake chimichangas. I ordered a funnel cake with powdered sugar for $7 to split with a friend.

We had no other mission at the fair than to wander and be gluttonous. This was the Great New York State Fair, a place that sits desolate for most of the year, to come alive for 13 days in a celebration that’s proof that we will willingly and wildly destroy ourselves in the name of salt and fat. I couldn’t help to join in.

State fairs, year after year, aren’t unique — but their obligatory celebration of American foods is glory incarnate. Sure, you could go to any fair to see blue ribbon-winning livestock, to enjoy the concerts or to throw up on a few rides. But when you’re there, what you actually notice are the bright and boisterous signs advertising fried food on a stick. They’re the best part.

The fried pickle consisted of six spears and Ken’s Steakhouse Buttermilk Ranch Dressing. Corey Henry | Photo Editor

Finished with the funnel cake, I ordered fried pickles from Fresh Fried Veggies by Dr. Vegetable, which offered fried broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, mushrooms and pickles.The pickle order consisted of six fried pickle spears, approximately a third of a 30-ounce jar and a small container of Ken’s Steakhouse Buttermilk Ranch Dressing that would expire on January 31, 2020. On that day, there’ll be 208 days until the 2020 fair. I wolfed down two spears and felt my heart burning. I gave the rest to my friends. We didn’t finish the ranch.

The idea that the fair is marvelous wore off on me at the same rate the funnel cake sugar rush did. Did I actually enjoy the fair? I don’t really know. By hour two, and two fried dishes in, I was on the verge of a temper tantrum. We headed to the Dairy Products Building for soft serve ice cream from Bryne Dairy, where I ordered a chocolate and vanilla twist with chocolate sprinkles. What was put in my hand is nothing less than every child’s dream, a tower of sugar and cream as large as my head. I didn’t manage to eat it all, or even make a dent, before the rest of it melted down my arms.

The combinations of food offered sound disgusting in any other context. Tents sell shaved ice and cinnamon roasted nuts; funnel cakes and apple fritters; hot dogs and hamburgers and creamy lobster mac and cheese; fresh squeezed lemonade and fried dough and funnel cakes and deep fried Oreos; Philly cheesesteaks and pretzel bun sandwiches with hot ham and cheddar; buffalo chicken dip and deep fried brownies and cheese curds and deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I wish I could tell you I tried the fried onion platter, or the deep fried snickers, or any number of things I just listed, but I have spent my life eating rice and avocados. I died after the second fried pickle spear.

 

Ali Harford tried chocolate and vanilla ice cream cone from the Bryne Dairy that melted down her arm. Corey Henry | Photo Editor

Will I be back again next year to destroy myself again in the magnificence of fried food and sugar, despite my utter lack of endurance? Definitely. There’s nothing more enticing to me than the promise of ridiculous food. But what makes state fair food good, across the entire country, is the fact that it only resurfaces once a year. I have 356 days left to recover.

“That’s a good ass funnel cake,” my friend said, of the $7 funnel cake. “It’s not too crispy.”                                                                                                    

Ali Harford is a senior staff writer at The Daily Orange, where her column appears biweekly. She can be reached at ali@dailyorange.com or @aliharford on Twitter.

Published on September 4, 2019 at 11:33 pm

Contact Ali: akharfor@syr.edu